Honest criticism (case scenario):
Wife (or other female relative): Does this dress make my ass look fat?
Me: Yup, real fat. You may want to rethink that one, it's adding at least 15 pounds to your frame. Else, hit the gym every day this week until the wedding, thereby dropping about 10 pounds to compensate for the weight this dress is going to visually add.
<seconds later...>
CRACK! BAM! WHALLOP!
<25 mins later I'm being rushed by ambulance to the ER for a trauma head CT>
I could be the right man for this job.![]()


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